The question ‘when are you going for number two?’ or some variation thereof comes pretty quickly after giving birth to your first. With Grace hitting 9 months recently the question is coming a bit more often, especially because an 18 month age gap seems to be a pretty commonly thought of ‘ideal’ age gap.
The question of age gaps between kids is something that gets discussed a fair bit among my mum friends because it is something you think about. Especially as the majority of friends are first time mums and yet to take the plunge for number two.
For some people, it’s an easy decision. Like my friend who had twins, she’s done. Or my friend who just knows she wants her kids to be close in age. For me, it’s a little less clear.
I used to think (before having Grace) I wanted a pretty close age gap between my kids. I thought a lot of things before having Grace that I have definitely changed my mind on! When to have a second baby is one of them.
I did not enjoy being pregnant. At all. It was hard, and I was uncomfortable and I felt sick and tired for so much of it. I feel like my pregnancy tiredness was way worse than my newborn phase tiredness! So in that sense, I’m not exactly keen to go back and do that again too soon. I think the further past it I get the less favourably I remember it, which is probably the opposite to how most people feel!
Adding to that was my sort of dramatic birth (if you haven’t read about it, you can check it out here). Going into the next one knowing what I know now changes my plans. I will need to have an elective c-section next time (for medical reasons) and having done the recovery from a c-section already I know that I don’t want to do that until Grace is at a stage when I don’t need to pick her up regularly and is at a stage when she can understand that ‘mummy can’t pick you up’. You’re not supposed to pick up anything heavier than the baby for 6 weeks, and even after that you need to take it relatively easy. I don’t know how feasible that would be with a toddler who still requires a lot of picking up!
Plus there is the part where I won’t be able to give Grace anywhere near as much attention as I do right now, and I’m not ready to give up that delightful time we have together.
So I think right now we’re leaning towards a bigger age gap between kids than we originally planned, but I’m pretty okay with that! There are even days when I think maybe I don’t want to have a second! But I do think I would regret it if I didn’t have a second child, maybe not right away but I think in the long run I would.
But for right now I’m perfectly happy with my one gorgeous little girl, and I’ll get around to a second child when I feel ready.
What’s the age gap between your kids? What kind of decisions went into the age gap?
Linking up with Essentially Jess for #IBOT (I blog on Tuesdays)